Thankful

I would like to think that for most of my life I have been grateful for everything that has been given too me, specifically the medical treatment that I have received over the years. I was born cleft lip/cleft pallet as many of you know and have had to go through many surgeries and all the other work that comes along with it. I was born with a very severe bilateral cleft lip, and nearly no pallet what so ever. 40 surgeries later and without looking close many people don’t notice it anymore. I was lucky; within a few hours there was a team of doctors ready to start operating on me as soon as they could. I always knew that I had an outstanding team of doctors, I knew many people with clefts that were not nearly as severe as mine and their work unfortunately had not been done so well. It wasn’t until I came here that I fully understood and realized just how lucky I was. Sure I knew that there were children who didn’t get the surgeries needed to help fix the defect, hence the reason Operation Smile was developed. My doctors even spent two months a year in South America performing operations for children. Pictures can’t even capture what it is really like to not have the necessary work done to fix the lip and/or cleft. If one is honest most of the pictures shown are of young children, no older than eight most of the time and don’t capture the full extent of the issues it later presents in life. Needless to say since I have been here I have really been able to witness what it is not to have the work done. I have seen numerous people, none of which are children who have clefts that have been left un-operated on since birth some of the clefts being minimal and others being severe. There are a few memorable encounters that I would like to share:

Rwanda: Up until this point in our trip I had only seen a few untreated clefts. Here we are on our ‘vacation’ of sorts and we are walking through the taxi park looking for a taxi that can take us to the genocide memorial. As we are wondering through, before an English speaking man finally helps us, none of us spoke French; I glanced over and noticed a man. It was something I was taken aback by, one of the most severe unilateral clefts I have ever seen. Generally speaking unilateral clefts are not too serious, but there are the cases of very severe unilateral clefts and here I was witnessing with my eyes one that was untreated. It was difficult for me to tell the age of the man, but I would say he was no older than 24. His teeth had grown out, past where that portion of his lip should have been, the farther back the teeth were the closer they were to the portion of the existing lip. Some of his teeth were behind the lip, but very few. I was brought nearly to tears; I can’t imagine what it would be like to have had my cleft go untreated. I used to be very self-conscious about my lip, covering it whenever possible with my hand or a piece of paper in class. Over the years I over came that and forget that was ever an issue. Seeing him made me force myself to think about how I would feel if I had to go about my life without my lip, either part of it or my entire lip, and it was not at all a good feeling. I would think that it is something that he has probably grown used to, though I am not really able to say for sure, but it still must be hard. His teeth where in a way that I know makes it very difficult to eat and drink, our lips are there for a reason. My heart broke, knowing that I received at the time the best care possible, lucky to be born where I was, I had the best team of cleft doctors in the country at the time, and seeing a man that had received absolutely no medical care at all for his cleft.

Kampala: My first real day in Uganda. I am with Chris and Kevin walking through the taxi park looking for a taxi to go to the embassy. I was already overwhelmed with it all, Kampala is a city that I am used to however, and Kampala is like no city I have ever been too. As we walk through the park and I am looking around at everything just trying to take it all in I notice a woman. She has a baby on her back and a bag full of something atop her head and she had an untreated cleft. Not as severe as the man described from Rwanda but noticeable. Since it was my first day in Uganda there I was much more prone to having an emotional reaction, but this I was not expecting. Kevin and Chris did not notice, and I didn’t mention it but I found myself crying. Even though I was able to get a brief look at the woman you could see she was tired. All I could think to myself was, here is this woman that is carrying a baby on her back with a bag on top of her head and an untreated cleft. Knowing that the procedures for a cleft like that are minimal, many times only requiring two or three operations I couldn’t help but be upset. I kept thinking that at that very moment in time she might have been living the same life, but had she had the operations would it have made anything easier or better for her? I had to think to myself if anything it might have given her more self-confidence or something of the sorts, but I can’t be the judge of something like that. I do however know one thing and that is, even without the operations that could have potentially saved her much pain and heartache I hopes she knows and believes that she is beautiful; at least she was in my eyes.

Gulu: So our office is right across from the Lacor Hospital, we see all sorts of people with problems walking in there. However this moment didn’t occur at the hospital, or even walking by a clinic it happened while I was riding home from the office on my boda. On the way to where we are staying we pass many schools, and many roads that lead to schools, we see a lot of kids going to and from school on a regular basis. I was coming up to Gulu College and saw a group of boys walking away from the school on their way home. As like most people, they waved at me and I waved back and looked at them. A certain boy in the group grabbed my attention; he too had an untreated cleft. I would say this boy was not older than 18 at the oldest, nearly my age. I thought to myself, when I was 18 and had an untreated cleft would I have been comfortable? The true answer is absolutely not. Again, I would think he has become used to it, just something that is part of him, but I knew it didn’t have to be. I knew that had he been born in a different place, or at a different time he would have been walking with a treated cleft.

It has been very difficult for me to see an untreated cleft, when I received amazing treatment. It is even more difficult for me to know that I received this treatment mainly because I was born in the right place at the right time. I know that it more than likely has become just part of these people, their untreated clefts but that doesn’t change my thoughts about what might be different for them. I am unbelievably grateful for the privilege I had in receiving such amazing care, I hope one day everyone can have that care.

I hope this find everyone in good health and with happy hearts wherever you are. Remember things might seem like a set back but many times they are hidden blessings and I am seeing that more and more especially regarding my cleft.